it started probably about 4 weeks before she was born. something was different... i've been pregnant 4 times and this time didn't feel the same. i mean, none of my pregnancies were the same, in fact they got harder and harder with each kid... but this was different. i started swelling.. like a lot and i've never done that before. it was painful, i would sleep with 3 pillows under my feet and by morning they still were not normal.. but they were a little better. the week before she was born it was so bad if i was up that i basically just laid around with the girls and watched netflix. my house fell apart, poor karim tried so hard, but when your only home for about an hour a day it's not that easy.
the weekend before she was born she didn't move very much.. like at all. i think i went 12 hours without feeling her but it was the weekend and i refused to go to the ER because every time i've gone (in raymond) i feel like i'm such an inconvenience to them. i made an appointment on Monday to just see a dr at the clinic. i was sick all day about it. but we went to parent pre school and went on with life. finally it was my appt time, they took my blood pressure and it was pretty high (i've NEVER had high blood pressure) but they said it could be because i was stressed (and i was) he then proceeded to try and find the heart beat. it took a little while (felt like an hour) but he found it. and felt my stomach and told me she was breech so that's why i probably wasn't feeling her very much. i felt so much better!!
wednesday was my actual baby dr appt in lethbridge. i loaded up the girls and headed in to meet karim. we went in and the nurse took my blood pressure 2 times then dr adolph came in and said i needed to go to the hospital for a stress test (the time was 2:30) she said "if you see me at the hospital, then you know things aren't good, if you don't see me then my office will call you with your next appt"
because of the measles outbreak no kids are aloud in the hospital so karim had to stay in the car with the girls.
i went in and they hooked me up and sat me on the monitor for about 30 min and the whole time i'm texting people to try and find someone in lethbridge to come get my girls so karim could come be with me. i got ahold of jessica tatlow and asked her to get the girls. she was getting groceries so karim told her to finish so she didn't have to haul them around.
at this time i'm probably texting about 10 different people, 1 of which was my sister in law down in arizona where my parents happened to be. my parents maybe leave once a year and all of this had to happen while they were away!!
after the stress test was complete they sent me down for an ultrasound, and at this time my dr was there just hanging around the nurses desk (Dr's don't just hang around) and when she called down to the ultrasound guy (who was going home) she said it was urgent and needed to be done now, so i knew something was wrong. the time now is around 4 and i'm texting karim making sure the kids got home from school ok, they had no clue where we were and if he was coming soon ect.
the ultrasound was 45 min long and my amazing nurse that was with me from the beginning came with me and chatted with me the whole time. asking about my kids and what they were going to be for halloween ect. I loved her. as i was leaving the ultrasound room i saw karim in the waiting room, i could see the stress on his face.
we got back up to maternity and within minutes dr adolph came in and said "your baby is sick, we need to get her out. your 33 weeks and we can do more from the outside.. better out than in we say" then she said "this needs to be your last, so while i'm in there do you want me to tie your tubes?" i just looked at karim, everything was happening so fast, and all i could think about was my kids at home. I can't function when things aren't planned and me not knowing what was happening with the kids was not helping. plus the fact that i had nothing, not even my camera was devastating to me.
when we didn't answer her right away she said "you need to know that this baby might not make it so are you going to want to try again?" then she said "i'll let you talk about it" and she left. while she was talking i had about 7 nurses surrounding me doing different things. 1) still monitoring my heart rate 2) putting a catheter in 3) putting compression socks on 4 & 5) trying to do an IV (i have the worst veins 6) asking me questions and getting my signature for surgery 7) talking to karim and giving him his surgery clothes. I tried really hard to not lose it. I've never had a c section, and all i could think about was getting cut open.
after everything was said and done i was in a wheelchair and we were waiting for the OR to call and say they were ready. it was just me and karim now, we didn't really talk, i think if we would have i would have lost it and i think karim knew that too. it seemed like forever for the OR to be ready, while we were waiting my amazing nurse came in and said "do you know whats going on?" and we were like "uh, no" lol so she just quickly gave us a run down saying that her heart beat kept dropping on the stress test, then in her 45 min ultrasound exam she barely moved and then add in my high blood pressure she had to come out. if it was only 1 of the things then they wouldn't have been so concerned but all 3 was bad news. we got the call and we were on our way.
karim waited outside and i got situated on the table, i was shivering, and cold (i think some of that was shock) they gave me a spinal tap and laid me down. covered me with a warm blanket and brought karim in. my amazing nurse came with us and she told us that we had the dream team of dr's. we had the head of NICU, head of paediatrics, head of anaesthesia, dr adolph (who is the best) and some pretty great NICU nurses that i met later.
they went through the whole "you'll feel some tugging and pressure but nothing should hurt" i honestly felt nothing, so when they said dr adolph was the best at c-sections they weren't kidding. I felt no tugging or pressure and would never have known that i was sliced open. within minutes she was out. i saw them carry her limp tiny body to the incubator and surround her and start working. i did notice her hair :) i looked at karim, let 1 little tear slide out then looked at the ceiling and made myself hold it together. i'm not an open emotional person, in fact my best friend calls me heartless haha.
i can't tell you the details of the next 30 min because i wasn't watching, all i did hear was them saying "1,2, breath" over and over, then one nurse count the minutes that she wasn't breathing, last number i heard was 6 min. dr adolph told us "they're working on her guys" then she'd ask the team if they needed more help for baby. she let out a little cry and was stable enough to move. karim followed them to the NICU and i stayed (obviously) she was born at 6:46pm. she weighed 3 pounds 9 ounces and 19 inches long.
i went into the recovery room and was pretty out of it. i had 2 blood transfusions because my bleeding wouldn't stop. they gave me 2 shots for hemorrhaging, and drugs for my blood pressure because it was getting dangerously high. i would fall asleep, wake up, look at the clock and ask if i could leave yet. this was like every 20 min. but my blood pressure wouldn't lower. they brought in 2 specialists and i was in recovery for about 5 hours (12:30pm) at about 9 i told the nurse "i need to talk to my husband" (nobody is aloud in recovery) i had no clue what was happening ect. She phoned the NICU and had a nurse bring him. i was still pretty out of it but he showed me some pictures and said she was doing good. i was worried about my kids at home. karim told me nikki and channing were there and sleeping over and i felt better. they've been with me and my kids from the beginning, they know me and they know the routine. karim headed back to be with baby and i fell back asleep.
the whole night was pretty much a blur which is why i'll have karim write up the details later. when i got to my room i think i went and saw her for the 1st time... or i went to bed... i don't remember, i was out of it. the good news was that she did so amazing that she didn't have to go to calgary.
she was on 100% aided oxygen for 4 hours, after 4 hour she was at 65% oxygen, after 8 hours she was down to 35% oxygen, by 12 hours she only needed 18% oxygen. after that she was ex-tubated and completely off oxygen. she was doing great! when my dr came and did her rounds she was amazed how well she was doing, he exact words were "she's doing beautifully, and i'm shocked" then she just sat there dumbfounded saying "karlene, 1 more day and she wouldn't have made it"
day 2- having a semi bath just washing her hair
the 1st time i held her (halloween night) she was skin to skin and i wasn't a loud to pat, rub, or rock. they can't handle much stimulation.. but i was ok with that
(notice my red skin... i had that for 2 days too. weird)
they say the 2nd day you feel like you got hit by a mac truck and boy were they right. i barely got out of bed i hurt so bad. and to top things off my body decided to swell even worse. i've never seen anything like it. my ankles and calves were so swollen and itchy, i think my calves doubled in size. it was unbelievable, i wish i had taken a picture. then my stomach started to swell. i didn't know what was normal because id never had a c-section but usually after you have a baby you have a flabby tummy, my stomach was so hard and puffed out that it was firmer than when i was pregnant. the nurses didn't really know what to do about it.
by the 3rd day my c-section incision started to leak fluid. the nurse would try and put steri strips on but they would slide right off. every time i moved it would gush. but it wasn't blood or infection it was just the fluid that my body was retaining. it found a little hole and it's the only way it could get out. it was awful. it gushed for about 3 days then continued to leak for 2 more. i had to stay for 5 days so they could be sure my blood pressure was ok and that i didn't need medicine for it. i was ok with staying because 1) i felt like crap 2) my baby was down the hall.
my kids were at home being loved and taken care of by so many of my amazing friends and family. i didn't think it could happen without my parents but it did and i am so very grateful. i don't ask for help so this was hard for me. i truly have amazing friends. karim would go home at night and cook supper and spend some time with the kids, then put them to bed. then he would come back to me. his professors and employers were amazing about him not coming in. i had made a joke that this was the 1st friday night we had spent together probably in almost 3 years, and what a great date at the hospital! after he put the kids to bed he came in and surprised me with dinner, timbits, and a movie. we set up the laptop and have a nice little date lol
i went home sunday night and was so happy to see my kids. my parents got home monday and came straight here from the airport. we loaded up after school and went in to see presley then they took my little girls home so i could heal and go see baby whenever.
(after being dis charged, i went and held her for an hour before going home. she was so little and looked like a little baby kangaroo in my shirt)
i gained about 20 pounds my whole pregnancy give or take 2-3 pounds then my last appt (the day she was born) i was up 40 MORE pounds. 2 weeks after she was born i was down 60 pounds!!! that's how much fluid i had in my body, that is ridiculous!!
i will blog about the NICU stay another day :)
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